You can’t break something that wasn’t already broken before
I just can’t let myself walk out that door
When love is there things should be different
One shouldn’t just feel content
I shouldn’t have looked your way
but there you were one day
You, me and everyone else can judge that I’ve done wrong
But It’s ok I just know now this isn’t where I belong
but I knew that way back then when I decided to stay
Little did you know why you came my way
I just needed to feel emotion stir my heart
Now from here I’ll go alone to do my part
Thank you for igniting that fire in me
I am now able to see
You were only my angel in disguise
For that you will always be perfect in my eyes
You only came to teach me to let go
This is something I now know
Will I listen or continue on with this charade
Whatever I decide you didn’t break up any parade
You came into my life for a reason
and now I am at the end of that season
******This poem is to someone that opened up my eyes to the fact the I was just where I was because it was my normal and I had been stuck there for years. No matter what I will be thankful to have met this person because otherwise I’d still be stuck.
I tried to talk to you today;
I couldn’t think of anything to say.
I get butterflies in my tummy
because you’re so yummy.
I know that really sounds kinda silly,
but its true I really do.
But talking to you is always a treat
because you’re super sweet.
A goodnight and a big hug I send
to my dear, dear adorable friend. <3
Posted in Poems
A year has passed since my husband told me lots of things but there was one thing he did that changed everything. I was hurt and torn for months and a few months after the new year I decided to pull myself together after my daughter came to me with her 3 D movie glasses and told me I could wear them so no one would be able to tell I was crying. That hit me hard and then I realized I had to get out of that state of depression for my kids. Just everything hit me all at once, my oldest had just turned 18, all my kids were at school full time so I had no one to care for, I was turning 40, and the man I planned to spend forever with told me things that broke my heart!! I searched for natural ways to help me with my depression and found a vitamin that I know helped me get through the rest of it without randomly crying in the middle of a store. I know this because when I forgot to take it I’d start balling for no reason again. A year later I’m so much more happier even when I don’t take the vitamins. I know what ever happened happen for the best because I should have been out that relationship way before I actually got out. Maybe just maybe there is something different meant for me or maybe this is the way it’s supposed to be I don’t know but I’ve accepted it. I’m more than happy to spend the rest of my days loving and being loved by my kids. I’m not sure how this could be words of encouragement for anyone except myself but I do know someone out there somewhere will or is going through the same thing I went through and if there is anything I regret is putting my kids through the pain of seeing me hurt because they hurt seeing me hurt. If I could change anything I would change the not looking for help sooner.
Every day is a new day, this past year for me and my kids has been such a long year and an emotional roller coaster. I am so much happier now than I was a year ago, I realized that giving it another chance is not always the best choice sometimes you just have to let go and move on and hope everything turns out ok. You can forgive things done to you but you can never ever forget. When something wasn’t meant to be from the beginning its not going to be. I did come out of my marriage winning though, I have my amazing children and they made everything I ever endured worth it! I would not change the last 14 years of my life for anything in the world!!!
Mom, I miss you like I’ve never missed before, I know you’re never ever coming back and that makes me so very sad. I know I have to learn to let go and years have passed but I can’t. Whenever my day is at a complete stand still and I get a chance to think you are there and it’s just not fair!! You were supposed to be with me for a long long time. I just want to scream out in anger because you were taken away from me when I needed you most. I need you now!! I wish I could just run home to you!! I never got that chance!! Goodbye’s (The Saddest Word) Celine Dion
All my life I was scared to take chances but took them, especially in love, chances which have caused heartache but have given my life much meaning. Those chances made me the person I am today. I am not one to regret anything in my life, but live for the moment. I was blessed with 5 beautiful children with some of those chances I took, I wouldn’t change anything in my life. I know I myself have caused heartache but to change that, I would have to change my heartaches so I hope I was truly forgiven for those I have caused. I never have truly trusted anyone in my life. I have always held back a little just in case, but I think I cheated myself out of ever truly being in love with someone. I’ve been married for almost 11 years and still go by my maiden name. I think I set myself up for failure. I never gave all so how could I have expected all. I never got to know the man who gave me life which may have something to do with it or not. I don’t know. I pray that God has blessed him with love , long life and happiness. I don’t know how much time left I have on this earth but I will live the rest of my days for my children. The great woman who brought me into this world left it almost 19 years ago, that was the worst heartache I’ve experienced all my life, and pray not to ever have to experience any other feeling like it. So reflecting back on all the years of my life I thank God for every person that has touched my life in one way or another. The song The Dance~ Garth Brooks has always been my favorite song since the first time I heard it, which twenty one years ago when I experienced my first heartbreak. I decided long ago to make sure to live my life without any regrets and take chances even if I still didn’t give all I gave all I could and I would do every single thing again. Taking chances maybe hard to do especially after you’ve been hurt once before but take them and give all don’t cheat yourself out of anything, you only live once and you can not take things back even if you do regret them. Love with all you got, live life like there’s no tomorrow, and treasure every single happy moment of your life.
19 years ago my mother suffered a heart attack and 10 days later she passed away. I was 3 months pregnant and this was the worst time in my life. I came home from a night out that night and saw my mom blessing the house she had a ponytail on and I told her she looked cute in it. We went to bed and she forgot to come give me a kiss as she did every night and I told her this and she said she was in bed already and I said I was too, I said jokingly ok well tomorrow don’t forget. Tomorrow never came, she had her heart attack and never regained consciousness and she passed away April 10, 1993 in the wee hours of the morning. I heard the phone call come in telling my dad she had passed. Before that phone call I felt her come to me and kiss me and it felt real not like in a dream. Those ten days I prayed and prayed and prayed for God to heal her completely and let her live and my prayers weren’t answered. It broke my heart she was my hero, she was everything I had. I was 3 months pregnant with my son Aaron Michael Morin and I knew then as I know now he was a blessing that came in to my life because of what was to come. It took years for me to accept the fact that life is about living and dying and that is something that will happen to all of us and at anytime so live for today, always let your loved ones know they are loved, don’t put off for tomorrow things that you can do today, make memories for your children that they can hold dear to their hearts for the rest of their life, don’t waste your time and energy caring for someone that isn’t going to care for you back, when horrible things happen don’t keep asking why because it doesn’t change the fact that it happened it just makes you bitter!!!