I am loved. I am happy. I am enough. I am blessed. I am worth it. I am fearless. I am beautiful. I am confident. I am deserving. I am good despite my past. I am capable of loving and forgiving. I am responsible for my own happiness. I am not perfect and I’m totally ok with it. I am going to conquer today, tomorrow and everyday.
I can keep adding to this and I will as I think of more. I claim all of these for myself. I will speak good words into my life every day especially on days I’m so far from feeling all of the above.
Make today the day you stop stressing about people who don’t care about you. That person who can spend 18 hours away from you without one phone call to see how you are doing, stop wasting your stress on them. It’s not worth the stress over if he/she loves you or not. Stop stressing over that person who shows you no sign that you are important to them. Stop letting someone’s actions towards you make you miserable. My kids are an exception to all that above, they are awesome to me but they are my kids and worth any stress I will or have ever gone thru. My aha moment was this summer. I decided to mentally let go of anything that made me worry, stress, sad anything that wasn’t worth my time and energy and most importantly my health because at the end of the day my life changes are for me to live longer to be able to see all the grandchildren I hope to have. Stressing isn’t good for your health so mentally throw away anything or anyone not worth stressing over.
When I go to the gym I find that I am mentally so much better. I have so much energy, I feel happy, it really changes my mood. When I started going to the gym I had a surgical hernia from a gall bladder surgery from about 5 years prior so I had to do really light exercise pretty much just the treadmill but it helped. Once I had surgery I started to do more things at the gym. Starting on the elliptical was so far out of my ability, I only stayed on maybe a minute then maybe two. It got easier everytime I tried. I can stay on as long as an hour then at planet fitness it stops me. This will be a short blog post but exercise helps feel mentally healthy. I created a helpful spreadsheet with the Planet Fitness machines in case anyone wants to keep track of their exercises I already did the spreadsheet you can just ad the other things you do. I’ll add more tracking tools later. FOLLOW THE LINK FOR EDITABLE SPREADSHEET https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1fxjyzPM9k45wpNpMmwtUxiOVC6TOrsMs4Sljk4mpA9Y/edit?usp=sharing
This is a repost of one of my private blog posts from April 11, 2012, I thought with today’s topic it would be a good post to share. During this time I was going thru alot of things and I would blog privately only for me on wordpress. I made it public on that site too but I just copied it here too.
All my life I was scared to take chances but took them, especially in love, chances which have caused heartache but have given my life much meaning. Those chances made me the person I am today. I am not one to regret anything in my life, but live for the moment. I was blessed with 5 beautiful children with some of those chances I took, I wouldn’t change anything in my life. I know I myself have caused heartache but to change that, I would have to change my heartaches so I hope I was truly forgiven for those I have caused. I never have truly trusted anyone in my life. I have always held back a little just in case, but I think I cheated myself out of ever truly being in love with someone. I’ve been married for almost 11 years and still go by my maiden name. I think I set myself up for failure. I never gave all so how could I have expected all. I never got to know the man who gave me life which may have something to do with it or not. I don’t know. I pray that God has blessed him with love , long life and happiness. I don’t know how much time left I have on this earth but I will live the rest of my days for my children. The great woman who brought me into this world left it almost 19 years ago, that was the worst heartache I’ve experienced all my life, and pray not to ever have to experience any other feeling like it. So reflecting back on all the years of my life I thank God for every person that has touched my life in one way or another. The song The Dance~ Garth Brooks has always been my favorite song since the first time I heard it, which twenty one years ago when I experienced my first heartbreak. I decided long ago to make sure to live my life without any regrets and take chances even if I still didn’t give all I gave all I could and I would do every single thing again. Taking chances maybe hard to do especially after you’ve been hurt once before but take them and give all don’t cheat yourself out of anything, you only live once and you can not take things back even if you do regret them. Love with all you got, live life like there’s no tomorrow, and treasure every single happy moment of your life.
Everything Happens for a reason, sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there. They serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be; your roommate, your neighbor, professor, long lost friend, lover or even a complete stranger, who, when you lock eyes with them, you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way. Sometimes things happen to you and at the time they seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength or willpower of heart. Everything happens for a reason, nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck, illness, injury, love, lost moments or true greatness or sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of the soul. Without these small tests, if they be events, illnesses or relationships, life would be like a smooth paved, straight, flat road to nowhere, safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless. The people you meet who affect your life, successes and downfalls you experience are the ones who create who you are. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. Those lessons are the hardest and probably the most important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and open your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them. Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen, let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high. You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it. I wish you all the best in your endeavors as well as struggles in life. Have a fighting spirit and never hesitate to get back in the struggle.
You can’t break something that wasn’t already broken before I just can’t let myself walk out that door When love is there things should be different One shouldn’t just feel content I shouldn’t have looked your way but there you were one day You, me and everyone else can judge that I’ve done wrong But It’s ok I just know now this isn’t where I belong but I knew that way back then when I decided to stay Little did you know why you came my way I just needed to feel emotion stir my heart Now from here I’ll go alone to do my part Thank you for igniting that fire in me I am now able to see You were only my angel in disguise For that you will always be perfect in my eyes You only came to teach me to let go This is something I now know Will I listen or continue on with this charade Whatever I decide you didn’t break up any parade You came into my life for a reason and now I am at the end of that season
I tried to talk to you today;
I couldn’t think of anything to say.
I get butterflies in my tummy
because you’re so yummy.
I know that really sounds kinda silly,
but its true I really do.
But talking to you is always a treat
because you’re super sweet.
A goodnight and a big hug I send
to my dear, dear adorable friend. <3
A year has passed since my husband told me lots of things but there was one thing he did that changed everything. I was hurt and torn for months and a few months after the new year I decided to pull myself together after my daughter came to me with her 3 D movie glasses and told me I could wear them so no one would be able to tell I was crying. That hit me hard and then I realized I had to get out of that state of depression for my kids. Just everything hit me all at once, my oldest had just turned 18, all my kids were at school full time so I had no one to care for, I was turning 40, and the man I planned to spend forever with told me things that broke my heart!! I searched for natural ways to help me with my depression and found a vitamin that I know helped me get through the rest of it without randomly crying in the middle of a store. I know this because when I forgot to take it I’d start balling for no reason again. A year later I’m so much more happier even when I don’t take the vitamins. I know what ever happened happen for the best because I should have been out that relationship way before I actually got out. Maybe just maybe there is something different meant for me or maybe this is the way it’s supposed to be I don’t know but I’ve accepted it. I’m more than happy to spend the rest of my days loving and being loved by my kids. I’m not sure how this could be words of encouragement for anyone except myself but I do know someone out there somewhere will or is going through the same thing I went through and if there is anything I regret is putting my kids through the pain of seeing me hurt because they hurt seeing me hurt. If I could change anything I would change the not looking for help sooner.
Every day is a new day, this past year for me and my kids has been such a long year and an emotional roller coaster. I am so much happier now than I was a year ago, I realized that giving it another chance is not always the best choice sometimes you just have to let go and move on and hope everything turns out ok. You can forgive things done to you but you can never ever forget. When something wasn’t meant to be from the beginning its not going to be. I did come out of my marriage winning though, I have my amazing children and they made everything I ever endured worth it! I would not change the last 14 years of my life for anything in the world!!!
Mom, I miss you like I’ve never missed before, I know you’re never ever coming back and that makes me so very sad. I know I have to learn to let go and years have passed but I can’t. Whenever my day is at a complete stand still and I get a chance to think you are there and it’s just not fair!! You were supposed to be with me for a long long time. I just want to scream out in anger because you were taken away from me when I needed you most. I need you now!! I wish I could just run home to you!! I never got that chance!! Goodbye’s (The Saddest Word) Celine Dion