This is a repost of one of my private blog posts from April 11, 2012, I thought with today’s topic it would be a good post to share. During this time I was going thru alot of things and I would blog privately only for me on wordpress. I made it public on that site too but I just copied it here too.
All my life I was scared to take chances but took them, especially in love, chances which have caused heartache but have given my life much meaning. Those chances made me the person I am today. I am not one to regret anything in my life, but live for the moment. I was blessed with 5 beautiful children with some of those chances I took, I wouldn’t change anything in my life. I know I myself have caused heartache but to change that, I would have to change my heartaches so I hope I was truly forgiven for those I have caused. I never have truly trusted anyone in my life. I have always held back a little just in case, but I think I cheated myself out of ever truly being in love with someone. I’ve been married for almost 11 years and still go by my maiden name. I think I set myself up for failure. I never gave all so how could I have expected all. I never got to know the man who gave me life which may have something to do with it or not. I don’t know. I pray that God has blessed him with love , long life and happiness. I don’t know how much time left I have on this earth but I will live the rest of my days for my children. The great woman who brought me into this world left it almost 19 years ago, that was the worst heartache I’ve experienced all my life, and pray not to ever have to experience any other feeling like it. So reflecting back on all the years of my life I thank God for every person that has touched my life in one way or another. The song The Dance~ Garth Brooks has always been my favorite song since the first time I heard it, which twenty one years ago when I experienced my first heartbreak. I decided long ago to make sure to live my life without any regrets and take chances even if I still didn’t give all I gave all I could and I would do every single thing again. Taking chances maybe hard to do especially after you’ve been hurt once before but take them and give all don’t cheat yourself out of anything, you only live once and you can not take things back even if you do regret them. Love with all you got, live life like there’s no tomorrow, and treasure every single happy moment of your life.